LotR characters react to LotR in 99 seconds
by Fate4Destiny
Summary: The lord of the rings cast reacts to Paint/ Jon Cozart's song 'Lord of the Rings in 99 seconds'. Hilarity ensured.


Characters react to LotR in 99 seconds

LotR characters react to Lord of the Rings in 99 seconds by Jon Cozart/ Paint

The Lord of the Rings

"Who else here has a ring?" Upon Frodo's question Elrond gave a small nod and Galadriel gave a simple 'yes' in his mind. Gandalf raised his staff which caused a bright glimmer which blinded Frodo. When he focused he saw a dragon roar and the Ringwraiths.  
Dazed, he got back to his feet. "Rings with an 'S'. So who owns more than one?"  
A certain dragon which ate many of the Dwarves's rings gave another roar. Frodo looked pale.  
"Does that make me the main character still?"

Hobbits, Dwarves  
Elves and Men

"Check, Check, Check, and Check..."  
A jealous dragon roared, and Gandalf gave a small pout.

Kings and Queens  
Epicness

Aragorn fist-pumped and Elrond glared the slightest bit.  
"Seems like a six thousand year old Lord holds none of this 'epicness'... Without me Aragorn would not have his sword..."  
"Don't worry, my Lord. They left out princes to."  
Legolas joined Elrond's not-too-pleasant mood as Merry rolled his eyes. Royalty and nobles, always having to be top of the world.

Lord of the Rings  
The greatest tale ever told on your screen

"What does he mean, screen?" Elves and men shrugged alike.

Potatoes

"Potatoes?"  
Odd looks were cast around until Sam finally jumped to his feet.  
"When I told that Gollum thing we needed potatoes for the stew!"  
"Um... Alright then... Odd hobbits..."  
"We can't all eat Lembas bread!"

Frodo must bring the ring to the elves

Frodo gave a small nod, that sounded just about right. They had helped him, right? But the elves just gave him a highly suicidal mission, kicked him out, and then ran away to Valinor...  
Elrond gave a slight shudder in his chair. "I have a very bad premonition about this."

Aragorn fights off  
The nine evil Ringwraiths

"I'm awesome." Aragorn pulled on his hood and began waving around his sword. Erestor ducked out of the way then sighed.  
"He never grows up, does he? He did the exact same thing as a youth."

The Fellowship forms

"But I came up with the name-"  
"Honestly, Elrond, you've spoken too much already. Go polish your tiara off or something."  
Elrond looked rejected but Erestor and Glorfindel dragged him off. Elrond was a little more eager to go though when he noticed Galadriel wouldn't be following. Mother-in-law issues. For the last couple thousands of years...

Saruman's a jerk

Everybody in the room agreed, minus one floating eyeball and heavily-bleached wizard. But then again, nobody did seem to notice they were even there...

Gandalf's torn from the group  
You shall not pass

When Boromir turned to see if Gandalf was there, the wizard was already gone. It seemed as though he came and went as pleased. Nobody was especially concerned about that comment. Least of all Galadriel.  
"Ha! Now the White Council shall be elves only!"  
Celeborn began to wonder why he married this women.

Boromir's embedded

"That's the understatement of the entire third age." Boromir glanced down at chest, and Aragorn gave a slow clap.  
"Not really if you're still standing there and talking to us."  
"Don't you have Gondor to go rule? Why are you acting like such an idiot?"  
Luckily a certain eyeball kept a close watch on them from now on to avert any fighting.

Uruk-hai's beheaded  
(Like a boss)

"Who's Uruk-hai?"  
"A boss? Oh, like a boss badguy."  
"Ohhh, the big orc."  
Boromir simply muttered some curses.

The Fellowship is broken

*Snap.*  
Everybody looked at Pippin with eyebrows raised as the hobbit held a broken branch which he snapped to demonstrate the 'break'.  
"Who took my arm?"  
A very upset looking willow walked in and the hobbit's eyes went wide.  
"Is that the willow who tried to eat-"  
"Agh! RUN!"  
*one must read the book to get this one.

Thank for that J.R.R. Tolkien

"Who's Tolkien?"  
"Our most sacred of Gods. The creator of the hobbit."  
"I thought that was Valar-"  
"I said hobbit. Not hobbits."  
"What are you Tolkien about...? Get it? It's a pun-"  
"Get out Aragorn, and never come back."

Frodo's gone

"Take off the ring, Mr. Frodo! I can't see you!"

And Sam's coming with you

"Always, Frodo."  
Frodo put an arm around Sam's shoulders as Legolas snapped a picture.  
"Where'd you get the camera in this era?"  
Legolas merely tilted his head. "When do I ever follow the rules?"

Gollum leads the ring to Mordor  
(My Precious)

"My precious!"  
"... That summarizes it all..."

Gandalf the White returns to wage war

"White, grey, when is he going black?"  
"Pippin! You can't say that. It's racist!"  
"No, one just means he bleached his clothes!"

(Pip and Merry hug trees)

"Save the trees. Or they will eat you!"  
Merry shuddered at the reminder, but one did recycle after having a tree glower at them.

Théoden is like Benjamin Button  
(He's aging backwards)

"Who is Théoden?"  
"Was that the girl who-"  
"No, that was Théodwyn... It must be her dad then..."  
"Why are all the names the same in families?"  
"To confuse us..."

Legolas surfs on a shield to defend  
Helm's deep

"I'm awesome!"  
Nobody could really say otherwise, nor did they have the heart to. It had been the only thing Legolas had said which wasn't some poem of the sorts.

Big trees  
Are attacking the orcs

"Well, they were more helpful then the elves..."  
Elrond raised an eyebrow before kicking Pippin out of the door. He was after all, a war captain for a thousand years before Rivendell.

The sword has been reforged and

"My sword?"  
Elrond sighed as he glanced at Aragorn. Aragorn broke every play sword in his childhood within a week. So typical of him to need a mended sword.

Now a legion of ghosts are at hand

"Ghosts?!"  
Gimli raised his voice as Legolas gave him a teddy bear.  
"They won't hurt you."  
Gimli said nothing but took the teddy bear- it was almost his size- then sat next to Legolas as if he was a child.  
"Aww, it's a mother and child- with an axe?!- I didn't mean it. I'm sorry!"

(He's the king)

"Who's the king?"  
"I am!" Multiple people spoke at once and Legolas rolled his eyes.  
"Men..."  
He said it sarcastically as Celeborn and Thranduil slowly lowered their hands...

Sam uses his spider slay skills

"Ah! Spider! Sam, squash it!"  
Sam looked at Pippin to see a small spider crawling on the floor. Sam squeaked like a girl and hid behind Legolas.  
"Sam, a spider!" Now it was Frodo who shouted. Sam seemed to gain courage and went over and squashed it with Erestor's book. Pippin and Erestor both shared glares at Sam.

While the elf and Gimli count kills

"I won, I won, I won~"  
"Honestly, who gave the elf sugar?"

(Frodo, Sam, Pippin, Mary, Aragorn)

"What's with the names?"  
"Dunno."

One last battle

"Isn't it always?"  
Elrond gave a deep sigh.  
"You have no idea. Aragorn, and before that Aragorn's ancestor Isildur, and before that..."

(Gandalf, Gimli, Legolas, Denethor)

"Who's Denethor?"  
"Don't ask me. Wiki is acting slow."  
Gandalf looked over Sam's shoulder then back at Elrond.  
"Why do they get Wikipedia yet we had to look over your entire library to find information?"  
"Don't look at me. I have better things to be doing."  
"Like what? Because you seem rather happy to comment on everything here."  
"... Finding reasons why Arwen shouldn't marry Aragorn."  
"And how's that working out?"  
"I'm the worst father ever!"

It's good vs evil

"Is Gollum good or evil?"  
"He ate my finger!"  
"Frodo of nine fingers, Gandalf of nine lives. There is a pattern, you know."

(Boromir, Gollum, Saruman, Sméagol)

"Aren't Gollum and Sméagol the same person?"

Frodo you must

"I must what?!"

(Elrond, Bilbo, Galadriel, Shelob)

"Why is my name next to my son-in-law's?"  
"It's bad enough we have council meetings and family reunions together. But must you annoy me- and insult me- in fan fiction to?!"

Destroy the

"The what?!"  
"Mr. Frodo, if you can't guess by now, we will have some issues."

(Wormtongue, Uruk-hai, Sauron, Great Eye)

"Someone is named wormtongue?"  
"Don't laugh, someone is named the Great Eye. Must have been named by the Elves. They either have ten syllable long names or stuff like lonely mountain or great river."  
The great eye glared, which didn't exactly work with just one...  
"You tell me that mountain isn't lonely!"

Ring of Power

"Oh, I get it now."  
"Dear Valar, help us now. It took him this long to figure out."

No

"Yes,"  
"No,"  
"Yes,  
"N-"  
"You don't even have the ring, Gimli! Leave Legolas alone."  
"But I was having fun."  
Gimli pouted and stood in a corner.

Destroy it

"What's it?"  
"Oh-my-Valar. He can't be serious."

It's mine

"My precious!"

Destroy it

"This isn't funny anymore. I'm leaving."  
Elrond walked off with Aragorn as Gimli decided to pout somewhere else. Legolas followed but nobody wanted to find out who he was following exactly...

It's mine

"My precious! No!"

Yay!

Aragorn sits on his throne

"Hmm, he went away already. Anyways, next line. He's as haughty as they come anyways..."

Middle Earth is saved

"Yay!"  
"Party in Rivendell!"

By the smallest of things

"The ring or hobbits?"  
"Maybe it meant dwarves?"

In The Lord of the Rings

"Finally, we're done."  
Frodo collapsed on a chair.  
"Why do I do this to myself?"  
The author of this story gave a shrug.  
"I have no idea... None whatsoever..."


End file.
